Election humour

As we approach election day, The Current offers readers a little light relief from campaign rhetoric. Enjoy this selection of political quips.

 

I offer my opponents a bargain: If they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.

Adlai Stevenson

 

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.

Unknown

 

If voting made any difference, they wouldn’t let us do it.

Mark Twain

 

Don’t buy a single vote more than necessary. I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay for a landslide.

Joseph P. Kennedy

 

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Winston Churchill

 

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.

Ernest Benn

 

We believe that to err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.

Hubert H. Humphrey

 

This president is going to lead us out of this recovery.

Dan Quayle

 

A modest man who has much to be modest about.

Winston Churchill (about Prime Minister Clement Atlee)

 

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

Henry Cate VII

 

I stand by all the misstatements that I have made.

Dan Quayle

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